Monday, April 13, 2009
I'm on a date I'm not sure why I'm attending. Less of a laughable farce and more like a fatigued sigh. Somthing so much less ambitious than ever before. I'm not sure what to tell you or what you need to hear. You're still asking questions you think I want to answer. It's all prelude to another vexing compromise. The absolute opposite of where I want to be. Lately i've been so far from the life I've wanted. Wrestling with bad decisions and fickle swings. You wouldn't want to fit into this frustrating mess. I simply want a warm place to hide. A spot to slither into and die. To fast without hunger and sweat from dulling pain. Disappear deeper into a quieter white palace. Where there's no give or take. No push or pull. Lit up with only my sunken ships and deserted dreams. Watching failures who pass me by surface to success. It's just so depressingly funny. Laughing and couching to the tune of the end. That turning point when life completely changed. All because lust was no longer stronger.