Monday, March 30, 2009
I got nervous again. Lost all my fingernails. Split my head open too. Then my face flew off. It fell off to a place where I couldn't recognize it's expression. It wasn't mine anymore. Now it belongs to another. Someone I've known. That I had outgrown. Yet I never said goodbye.
Still you want to know. But I should be the one with the questions. Truth is I don't believe. I won't believe. So desperately wish I could. Please surrender with your inquistion. Do so the way I gave up a long time ago. Doing the deadman's float in a sea of people.
My mistakes are my own. Walking closer to imperfection. With all the work I dropped on your lap so long ago. I can face that now without a place. Getting back to what I hate most. To find a familiar purpose. To fill these veins with poison that actually feels warmer than your love.